A Stabbing

This quote by Thomas Keating feels often elusive yet so true, 

“We’re all like localized vibrations of the infinite goodness of God’s presence. So love is our very nature. Love is our first, middle, and last name. Love is all; not [love as] sentimentality, but love that is self-forgetful and free of self-interest. 

— Thomas Keating

Zander is Stabbed 12.21.24

Nesti was inside her tent watching a movie but could hear everything that was happening outside the tent. At some point she heard yelling and arguing that was coming from a nearby tent. Xander one of her tent mates was arguing with another camper about the smell of smoke coming from his tent. He was telling him that everyone smelled it and his concern was that if a fire started all the tents in the area would catch fire and the camp would go up in flames. (On a side note on December 6th 2024 a Boulder district court judge dismissed a high profile ACLU lawsuit challenging the city’s camping ban and the police and city officials immediately enforced the law by clearing out encampments and ticketing people who sleep outside. The ACLU continue to argue that the law criminalizes people who have no choice but to sleep outside.)

At some point the screaming escalated and the next thing Nesti heard was Gabe, another tent mate of theirs, yelling for those who had come out of their tents to put their hands on Xander. “Gabe is screaming, apply pressure, apply pressure, I didn’t know what to do but I knew that I didn’t want to leave the tent cause I didn’t want to get hurt.” Not long after Nesti told me that police sirens and the sounds of an ambulance could be heard. When they arrived on scene she hear the cops telling Jason and Hobbit to get up off of Xander, “they are like, no he’s been stabbed and is losing a lot of blood, Gabe kept yelling “apply pressure, apply pressure.” 

The paramedics took over got him loaded on the gurney and wheeled him past Nesti’s tent. “When they took him past my tent I heard Xander say, “that @#$%i stabbed me, it hurts! I knew then that he was ok that he was going to make it, we need an angel like him here not there.” At this point Nesti raises a finger up towards the sky.

I visited Xander in the ICU a day after the stabbing. The doctor told him that if his friends hadn’t applied pressure on the wounds he would be dead. I asked him what started it all and he said he went over to the tent the smoke was coming from and told them to cook their drugs somewhere else and one of the guys in the tent came out and attacked him, stabbed him 5 times. His camp mates saved his life. They may be homeless but like each one of us they are “localized vibrations of the infinite goodness of God’s presence. Love is they’re very nature. Love is their first, middle, and last name.

Citizen Safety 1.15.25

We gathered in the 2nd floor conference room of First United Methodist Church. I asked everyone to share their names and what brought them joy? Beth - Meditation, Kirby – People and Dancing, Gabriel – my children, Jaimi – outdoors when it is warm, Zander – being alive, Claire – service, Nesti – gathering people, Jason – art, Curtis – service, James – my daughter, Mike – this moment, David – smiles in this room, Chris – stillness, Carol – possibilities, Kenny – affection & acceptance, Paddy - sobriety. (Eight of the participants listed above are currently homeless, live in tents and have a personal stake in the camping ban situation). 

Four years ago during COVID a new pastor was appointed to lead the congregation at First United Methodist Church. When he became the new pastor one of the things he was asked to do was to move the homeless of the front porch of the church. Michael said, “I will do what you are asking but first I want each of you to take a chair, go out on the porch and find someone to sit next to and ask them their name, tell them yours. Ask them to tell you something about themselves and share something about yourself.” When they returned from the porch Mike said, “Now who wants these people of the porch?” No one raised their hands.

On this Thursday afternoon we came together homeless and housed to figure out how to best bring together two communities who have been separated? In opening our doors in the church, we have encountered a person who has been sneaking into the church, hiding in spaces within the church and staying overnight. When you think about it it makes sense that someone would interpret an open church to be a sanctuary where they could find respite and sleep, makes sense that someone who is homeless would want to use the church for shelter. But we are not a shelter and don’t want to be one.

How do we see each other and how do we get seen?

Things have been taken, windows have been broken, drug dealing and drug use in the alley. 

How do we continue to invite people in? How do we practice hospitality and support people in finding solace and sanctuary.

Kirby was the first to speak. -
I’m from the street side, 42 years on the street.  Lost my dad in 1983. I know what works and what doesn’t work, back in the day the church used to be holy ground. Don’t defecate on the church. I think that there are things that can bring back the holy ground, things that would help us get back on track:

Parking spaces for those living out of their cars. People that are crazy they need some place to go to, how do we come to a medium on a place to go? We provide mental health services, we used to police our own now security they have can’t touch you! Violence happens! How can we keep citizens safe on both sides? We teach first responders and people on the street to work together. We need a bridge and a safe haven, the battle continues, people on the street, some people, are doing their best and they have just fallen through the cracks.  They need a sense of possibility, something, anger management classes, art workshop, something that can build rapport. A boxing gym. A place like this where they learn how to provide for self-care and the confidence in themselves to find a way back.

Mike followed. -
Kirby thank you for your comments an giving us larger context for the streets.

What struck me is that we either have to be self-reliant and become self-sufficient or someone will do it for us. I retired and left policing 4½ years ago. One of the things I was able to do as police chief was bring together fire, police, emergency services. One of things we did is separate ourselves away from the criminal justice system and attach ourselves to the heart of our community – anybody. I see people as having unlimited and infinite capacity. When we see each others possibilities, conversations are different. We utilized that thinking in working with people in our community. Created alternatives to the criminal system. 

The guiding principle for our police was if we can use something different what does that look like? 

Social capital, skills, care, kindness, gifts, talents that have gone unused. We found that most people want to be part of something that works. I feel that you can bring the philosophy to Boulder, see people through the lens of their gifts, not their deficiencies, not through fear. If you see people that way, you see them as sacred. 

In that role, what are the opportunities? it becomes the choice of the people you are working with to follow through. They begin to see that they need to consider themselves differently. The order of thinking changes in the community. 

When we talk about social capital it sounds easy, but it takes action. You have a whole neighborhood around here that will be supportive of you! Encourage the Boulder Police Department to work with you. Figure out how to work with the neighborhood and police to bring about safety as well! We put things in place, started restorative justice practices in Longmont, I think we used restorative justice practices more than any other city in America. Our officers learned to use restorative justice instead of the assembly line. This creates a dynamic in which people sense that everyone is a part of the solution, they get a sense of, “we are responsible too.” 

It doesn’t have to be the local minister’s responsibility, it has to be the people in your neighborhood. Some people will be negative but they will and can shift and change.

Jaimi - I worked security at Boulder’s main library and the security company the Library uses has just let go because they found out I am homeless. When Xander got stabbed I didn’t think twice. I came out of my tent and started applying pressure on the wounds, Jason and Gabe were with me. I was in a job cared enough to save someones life and it cost me my job, they didn’t know I was homeless until recently. Cops didn’t believe I worked at the library so they made me go with them to the library and prove I worked there. The minute the community finds out we are homeless it is another check against us. I was trying to be of service, wrong place, wrong time, wrong circumstance.

Nesti - There are a few officers that have more heart than others. We need to connect with them.

Claire -  I like the idea of brining people together who have heart. It doesn’t matter where they come from, people are afraid of the police, the homeless because of the bad seeds. What if we can bring together the ‘good seeds’ so they can be nourished. I love the idea of what I’m seeing at this church, they are not just talking they‘re working on the solution. They are not kidding when they say everyone is welcome here. There are many unhoused people who are becoming part of this church. Lets nourish the seeds that need help.

We are currently working on bringing the Chief of Police of Boulder and some of his officers together with our community experiencing homelessness for a listening session. Our hope is that in sharing each others stories, coming together in relationship, and opening our hearts to each other wonderful things will happen; it is being led by Nesti our Illuminator!